Watched my husband wreck

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Watched my husband wreck

Postby Kitkat74 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:51 pm

Today we set off on a long ride to a lake to have a picnic. We had never been there before and were unfamiliar with the road leading up to it. Hubs was in the front because he is a better navigator than me. Usually it's the other way around and I'm in front. Anyway, we were coming into a curve and his front wheel hit some gravel and he went off the road. Back tire started to fishtail and he almost got her under control. Then he hit a small dip and over he went. The bike landed on his right foot and he went over the side of a 15-20 foot embankment with the rear of the bike hanging in mid air. He's ok other than bumps, bruises and a badly sprained foot. How it's not broken I don't know, but what I do know is that seeing him first go down and then over the embankment was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life. It has definitely shaken me up and made me question continuing to ride no matter how much I love it.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby monica » Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:57 pm

Oh, scary to watch your beloved go down. Glad he's not badly hurt. Gotta be really careful around gravel. My usual bedtime reading is one of the two books I have by David Hough - "Proficient Motorcycling" and "Mastering the Ride; More Proficient Motorcycling" which has lots of safety and handling information. When I'm done I start over. It has helped me be smoother, and to think of things like the camber of the road besides just how tight the curve is or the road surface, for instance.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby BlueHD4me » Mon Feb 13, 2017 8:32 am

:shock: OMG KitKat! I'm so glad he's (mostly) ok. That must have been terrifying.

I'd hate to see you give up on something that you love because of this. If he had been in a fender-bender in his car would you stop driving? Is this enough to make HIM stop riding? All things to ponder ....
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby Kitkat74 » Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:51 pm

I don't want to give up riding, but this has definitely shaken me. He said he just wasn't paying attention and by the time he realized he was too fast for the curve it was too late. He feel like if he hadn't hit that dip he would've been able to pull back on the road. I told him that this is the type of situation where my newness comes into play. I am not so comfortable that I don't pay attention to road conditions and what's lying ahead. I still granny around unfamiliar curves and even some familiar ones if I don't feel comfortable. I would rather have a parade behind me in a curve and keep both wheels on the ground than take a chance. He feels like had I been in front he wouldn't have wrecked since I would have been going much slower in the curve. In any case, I keep replaying it over and over like a movie reel that won't quit. Except in this movie the bike went down the embankment with him and crushed him. He is my best friend and we are super, super close...every time I think about how close I came to losing him I start to shake. Then I look at the charm bracelet he just gave me for Valentine's Day with the little motorcycle charm and I want to cry. Something we enjoy so much almost took him from
me and it's going to take a lot of courage to get back on when he's healed and we fix his bike.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby monica » Mon Feb 13, 2017 10:47 pm

The good news is that he knows exactly what happened, how it happened, and therefore how to avoid it. Check out the books by David Hough.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby Kitkat74 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:06 pm

I'll definitely check the books out. We were on the way to the Dr. today (who confirmed,btw what I suspected...the foot is broken, X-ray be damned. Right across the top of his foot near his toes) but anyway, he told me that he is definitely going to pay more attention to what he's doing and is perfectly content to ride behind me. Says I keep his speed in check. Next step after he can put weight on his foot is to assess the damage to the bike. Dents and scratches obviously and his headlight is seriously off kilter. He thinks the handlebars are bent as well. Not sure about the forks, hope they're ok. He did also mention crash bars. I still don't want to give up riding but finding the courage again is going to be tough.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby dbsteffy » Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:13 pm

Wow KKat, really scary shit, really. I'm glad you are basically physically okay, excepting the booboo foot. And understandably your emotions are off the chart, but that's okay too, they should be, it could have been a deadly outcome and that's where your mind is going. Mine would, too. It sounds like you are more upset than Hubby, he didn't have your perspective and wouldn't have that helpless, OMG feeling of watching a loved one possibly be killed. Both of you need time, take as much as you need, heal his foot and bruises and your emotions. I think that once your Hubby gets back on his bike, you will as well. I hope.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby Kitkat74 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:20 am

Thanks Brenda. My nerves are definitely more frayed than hubby's and for exactly the reason you mentioned. I was absolutely helpless to do anything to stop it and then to help him. People behind us and coming the opposite direction saw it happen and before I could even get off my bike there was a guy helping my husband up the embankment and 3 more trying to figure out how to get his bike back on the road. All 4 guys pulled it back onto the pavement and got it upright while all I wanted to do was hug him and never let go. Lots of factors came into play in order for there to be a good outcome. What if I hadn't been there? What if no one was coming along that road? Too many what-ifs and I try not to think about them. Hubs is ready to put it behind him, fix the bike and get back on. Me, not so much. I'm a person who is usually in control of things and that loss of control, that feeling of helplessness won't go away. I can be in total control of my bike but I can't control everything else and I am reverting back to the old fears I had when I first started riding. I feel like I just took 5 steps back and I hate it.
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby tlc » Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:28 am

Kitkat, I had something similar (but not an actual wreck like your hubby had) happen when I first started riding my own bike. We live on a main highway with a 55 mph speed zone. It's a 2 lane road with hills on both side so it's a challenge getting in and out even in a car/truck. Our driveway is long with gravel and lots of it. One day we were pulling in with me first as the hubby always rides a bit back to give me room to get in without getting ran over. I pull in then check my mirror for him. Next thing I see is him going over in the driveway. His bike had high centered on a tiny gravel hill at the end of the driveway. It scared the crap right out of me watching it happen. Thankfully I kept my wits, parked my bike and helped him pick up his bike. That is one heavy SOB I'll tell ya. It shook me up a little but not that bad.We have dropped that bike before when we rode 2-up.

What surprised me was, the next time we went for a ride I was scared to go out the driveway and almost terrified to pull back in. I had problems stopping my bike on flat ground. My turns were butt ugly. But entering that driveway was something I dreaded. It took me a while to get past it. I had to force myself to not think about it. I knew if I didn't take control of my thoughts I would either not continue to ride or worse yet~ get hurt due to me being so scared. I had those what "if's" thoughts. But the way I reasoned it, some of those very same things could happen when I'm in my car. So, when I would pull into driveway and do a good job I would tell myself things like "wow, they should write a book about how good that looked!" Sounds funny but it helped my confidence and reprogrammed my brain. I'm still riding and the driveway isn't scary anymore. I certainly pay more attention to it though.

You have to decide for yourself if riding is worth the risk. :)
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Re: Watched my husband wreck

Postby Kitkat74 » Sat Feb 18, 2017 5:32 pm

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I've still been on the fence about getting back on but last night kinda clinched it for me. I stopped to get pizza after work and 2 guys on Harleys pulled up at the gas station next door. As I was leaving, they started them up and gave a few revs. Oh, the sound they made! I thought about just how much I love riding, how much I love riding with my husband and I just can't give it up.
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